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Whatever the fuck
you would say
- Wanted to say: bro what the fuck is this invoice. Sent: Hi, I wanted to follow up on this invoice. A few of the line items aren't clear to me, so could you walk me through them?
- Wanted to say: yo gang can we fucking finish this today. Sent: Hi all, can we aim to close this out today? Happy to jump on a quick call if that helps us get it over the line.
- Wanted to say: stop sending me this shit every morning. Sent: Could you take me off the daily send? I'd rather catch up on it weekly than every morning.
- Wanted to say: why the hell have you not replied. Sent: Following up on my last message. I haven't heard back yet and I want to make sure it didn't get buried.
- Wanted to say: this meeting could have been an email. Sent: I think we could cover this over email and give everyone the time back. Happy to write up the summary myself.
- Wanted to say: bro I already sent this three times. Sent: I've sent this over a few times now, so I'm resending for visibility. Let me know if it isn't reaching you.
- Wanted to say: no we are NOT adding that two days before launch. Sent: I'd push back on adding this so close to launch. Can we schedule it for the next cycle instead?
- Wanted to say: that deadline is completely delusional. Sent: That timeline looks unrealistic to me. Here's what I think we can commit to without cutting corners.
- Wanted to say: please stop calling me, I have a keyboard. Sent: Would you mind sending this over in writing? It's easier for me to keep track of the details that way.
- Wanted to say: who the hell keeps replying all. Sent: Quick ask: could we keep replies to the sender only? The thread is getting hard to follow.
- Wanted to say: wild how you presented my work as yours. Sent: I noticed the work I led was presented without attribution. I'd appreciate a correction when there's a chance.
- Wanted to say: pay me more or I'm walking. Sent: I'd like to revisit my compensation. Given my scope over the last year, I think there's a strong case for an adjustment.
- Wanted to say: absolutely not, it's 6pm on a friday. Sent: I'm signing off for the week. I'll pick this up first thing Monday and get it moving.
- Wanted to say: we literally talked about this yesterday. Sent: Circling back to what we agreed yesterday. I want to make sure we're still aligned on the approach.
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